i've moved!!!

because i don't like to sit still.....i have moved my blog HERE! it has a lovely new home in my new website. i even have a fabulous new template. i am very very excited about it all :O) i hope you will come and visit me.....

the big FIVE-O

well here i am at my 50th post and it seems like i crawled my way to this point. i know lots of people post "100 things about me" for the hundredth but i have not seen anything for a fiftieth....so i thought that i would write a bit about why i am blogging in the first place.....it'll be good for me since on most days i am not quite sure myself!!

i have always kept a journal. it has always been a good way to acknowledge and sort out my feelings. i have a very special talent for banishing my emotions to oblivion only to find that they come back and ambush me at full force whenever i don't expect it. not the best way to go through life especially when your own children are the casualties. ask them, they will tell you point blank how i used to yell at them all the time. i am in no way proud of that behavior but proud that i have found a way to apologize for it and make a change. i still get frustrated with them but i no longer dump on them because of bottled up emotions that have nothing to do with them.

so if i have a journal than why this? well, before i started a blog i lurked around cyber space reading what other sisters, moms, daughters, friends, and women had to say and what i found was a source of comfort and support. i call it my cheap therapy. it helps to know you aren't alone. i thought if i was lurking around taking such wonderfulness from others, perhaps i should try to give back. i, in no way, feel like i have talent such that i have seen from others nor do i try to fit into one genre or another. good or bad, perhaps there is another someone out there who might benefit from daily-ness of being me.

as i started posting, i realized that writing in this form was such a good reminder to pay attention to the things that i usually forget to remember. in a way, i get to be my own therapist when i take a peak at what i have written. i still keep a journal. there are some things in my life that i still deem to personal for public knowledge but the rest of it is here.

my biggest challenge has not been to censor myself beyond the "do i really want any joe smoe to know this?" my sweetie and a few others in my life stop by here now and then. every so often i catch myself wondering what they might think about what i have to say and it makes me a bit shy. that's when i realize that blogging also helps remind me to share more of myself with those i love. maybe this blog is a little window into my world and that just might help build better relationships with those i love.

hopefully that will continue as i formally announce and share my blog with some who, i think, have no idea that i have been doing this. i am in the process of importing this blog into my website. it was a gift from my love and i think it is so cool. it is still in it's infancy and so am i in terms of learning how to manage it, but if you want to check it out, please do.

thanks for stopping by
~jenn

a note from the doctor

I went to my doctor a couple of weeks back to get an all around check-up. I figured it was time since I cannot remember my last physical and I also had some things I wanted to discuss with him. Among these, I wanted to know what is causing the most incredible headaches I have ever experienced in my life!!

A few looks in my eyes and ears followed by questions w/ some yes's and no's from me and the doctor gives a what he called a preliminary diagnosis of migraines. I would've much rather he just waved his magic stethoscope and pronounced my headaches Gone Forever - what else are they learning in all those years of medical school if not how to magically make me feel better on demand?!

He also ordered at CT scan, "just to check", since I have never experienced headaches like this before. Even though the whole idea of getting my head x-rayed completely freaked me out, I obediently went that appointment the following week.

I arrived home today and find a note in the mail from my doctor. It reads "Dear patient, Your CT scan is normal. The headaches are most likely just migraines as we previously discussed. Sincerely, Doctor Man." Um, yeah. I have a couple of problems with that: 1) where is the sympathy for my pain and my lollipop for being such a good patient? 2) 'most likely' does not sound like a very sound diagnosis to me, and most importantly, 3) 'just migraines' ....WHAT?! Obviously said by someone who has never experienced a migraine before because if you have ever had one you would never ever put the word 'just' in front.

These headaches are 'just' the most excruciating pain I have felt in my life - outside of labor- but at least I got something really cool at the end of that! These most likely migraines give me nothing but pain, force me to bed, and make me very lonely because in the middle of it all I really do need to be left completely alone to suffer through it - light and sound only make it worse. It is as if the monkeys in my head are using ice picks, sledge hammers, jack hammers, regular hammers, clubs, tooth picks, shovels, hatchets, drills and dynamite to hack their way out of my skull. It looks like my mom was right all these years when she told me I was being thick headed about things because the monkeys have yet to escape!

i forgive

forgiveness. this is something i have been working on recently. in particular, forgiving myself for the past. i have what i think to be a really wonderful life. a wonderful man who loves and supports me, 3 amazing kids who are all healthy and safe, parents who are incredibly supportive and, good friends, a home to live in and food to put on the table....the list could go on and on!

and yet there are days (many recently) when the budget is extremely tight and it is hard to get just the daily necessities let alone the little extra things, or when i find that i don't have the time to get all the things around the house done that need to be done or that i would like to do, or when i have to look at my sweet little ones' faces and tell them "not now" because i have school work to finish......on these days my soul is sad. i wonder "what if?..."

i'm a young mom. by that i mean i was just a kid myself when my daughter was born, 19 yrs old to be exact. i put off my education to work and help make ends meet and to be what i hoped was a good mom to my lovely little daughter. add a few years and two sons in the mix and i still haven't gone back to school and i am still struggling to make ends meet in a marriage that was anything near stable or happy.

i look back on so many decisions i made out of fear and ironically out of trying to make up for past mistakes - those decisions just led to more mistakes. and so i sit here wondering what if i hadn't become a mother so young? what if i found the guts and the day to pursue my education 15 years ago instead of 3 years ago? would i financially independent? would i be able to say yes to my kids more often? would i be less scared of messing up a marriage to a man i truly love and who in everyway is good to me and for me? would i have more faith and confidence as a parent and in myself? who knows?!

on the hard days i look back and wish i had done so many things differently. i've been doing that quite a bit lately and then i found this post and found something to hold on to. heather of desperately seeking sanity reminded me that i've gotten where i am because of the past - good and bad. and that in the end, it (the past) is irrelevant! what matters is who i am today and where i am going. i have learned a great deal from my mistakes as well as my accomplishments and have overcome many challenges. i am incredibly fortunate enough to have my children and to have found a man who i am so proud to call my love and if having them means having to have accept the bumps that have come along with the journey then so be it!

hopefully, i'll continue to learn how to hold on to that thought and learn to let myself off the hook - after all, i know how to do that for others, why don't i derserve the benefit of the doubt as well

road less traveled

i took a trip recently to utah with my parents and my children. very early one morning, i found myself on this road at sunrise. as the sun made it's way over the distant mountains, the following came to mind:

ROAD LESS TRAVELED
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

this poem has always spoken to my soul since the day i first read it over 20 yrs ago. as i stood in the middle of the road, listening to the silence that surrounded me and taken in the beauty of a world that i don't take the opportunity to admire often enough, i contemplated the road before me and the many roads i have traveled in my life.

to a great extent, i haven purposefully chosen the road less traveled. sometimes it was for the adventure. at others, it was just to be different. and at times, i choose it out of fear of the what lay waiting for me around the corner of the road most others were going down. these have been the most profound journeys in my life and that morning and every day since, i have contemplated the roads i have taken and realize that the choices i have made, truly have made all of the difference.

however, while i am grateful for where i am in my life today, and i understand that i got here by the choices i have made in the past, i am having a hard time dealing with certain roads i chose to travel and find myself having a hard time forgiving myself for some of those choices...

saying goodbye

i have never dealt with death well in my life. today is no different - i still cannot really handle the reality of a life coming to an end. i am hoping writing will allow me to get through what i cannot say in words.

my neighbor, Mr. Stone, passed away because he suffered on stroke during heart surgery. he was 82 years old. and he was an amazing man. i am so sad to know that he will no longer be part of our lives. i cannot even express how i feel.

married with 2 children and 4 grandchildren, Mr. Stone always had a smile, kind words and a hug for me. he proudly served in WWII and always had a story to tell. he collected aluminum cans and plastic recyclable bottles from the neighbors to earn money for a scholarship fund. until very recently, he would come over often to kick the ball around in the front yard with my kids and tell them how big they were getting, ask how they were doing in school, say how proud he was when they said they were doing well and tell them how lucky they were to have me for a mom. he constantly told me how proud he was of me for going back to school and the way i was raising the kids.

he leaves behind his wife, children, grandchildren, many friends and neighbors like myself who will greatly greatly miss him. goodbye Mr. Stone. i hope you knew how much you were loved

it's been a long long week

it started out fabulous: my sweetie and i packed up our monkeys and headed out to the Navajo Reservation in Arizona for the Memorial Day weekend. the drive is long about 12 hours but the kids are great travelers and even without a DVD player to keep them entertained we made it there without whining, crying, or arguing! i love those kids and are so proud of them when they figure out ways to get along. the best part of the trip besides it being our first family vacation together was that we were able to make the trip with my sweethearts parents and brother.

the weekend was amazing! it is just incredible beautiful out there in the desert, away from the noise, traffic, and congestion of the city. the weather was perfect and the chance to just get away from the business of my everyday life was truly a blessing. i appreciated the extra time with my love and with the monkeys and the chance to get to meet my new family! everyone was so welcoming and incredibly generous, i felt truly welcomed and honored to be part of such a loving family.

so where does the long part of the week come in? monday, early afternoon. we were on our way home. still in arizona and headed to laughlin for the night when my cell phone rang. it was my mom and she began the call with the words "i'm afraid i'm not calling with very good news." my heart just dropped. my grandmother had taken a terrible fall during the night, was in the hospital, non responsive and the prognosis from the doctors was that she very well may not make it thru the night. and i am about 10 hours away from home!

instead of driving to laughlin for the night and getting home on tuesday we just drove straight home. i didn't really even have to ask jerry or explain to him that i wanted to come home early. he just asked me once what i wanted, i asked 'can we go home?' he said yes, spoke to his parents briefly and we were on our way! i am so thankful for his understanding and willingness to support me and the kids and so thankful for his love. i am thankful for the understanding, love and support of his family as well. although we were all sad to have our play time together cut short, they all just wanted me to let me come home to my family. i won't ever be able to put into words properly what that meant to me.

we arrived home late monday night and i was able to get to my parents tueday morning. i had tried to call but was unable to get a hold of anyone and so i was terrified of what the news would be. i arrive at the hospital at 11 to find my mother with my grandma. she was doing better than the previous day and while although still detached from reality, she was having moments of clarity. she was extremely weak and coming in and out of consciousness. since she had no broken bones or serious injuries from her fall, the doctor's were looking to send her to a rehab facility to hopefully get her back in her wheelchair and back to her own apartment. i spent the rest of that day with my mom, gathering things for my grandmother and looking at local rehab nursing facilities. we found one in town, just a few blocks from my home in fact.

i returned to school on wednesday but have spent most of my free day time with my grandmother and helping my mom with arrangements and continuing to take care of arrangements for my grandmother. we have cleaned the floors in her apartment and cleaned out the fridge and gathered clothing items for her to wear in the rehab facility. in between i have tried to read and study for my summer classes, hug my kids and spend time with jerr. it's been hard and overwhelming.

mostly, my heart hurts to see my grandmother compromised, in pain, scared, and mentally unstable. i do not know how well she will recover from her fall and if she will be able to return home nor if she will even be with us much longer. while she is making some progress, she is not at the same time. she is currently not eating and has only gotten out of bed and into her chair once this week no matter how much coaxing and in some cases, pleading, has been done. i will be forever grateful to have the moments of her mental clarity to let her know how much she means to me and how many valuable life lessons she has taught me.

for now, i will end with the most significant advice she gave me during a particularly rough time in my life. i will never forget her words and i think of them each day:

faith, hope, strength and love
have faith in yourself and in god
keep hope that things will be as they should be
be strong and believe in your strength
always love with all your heart and know you are loved that way in return.

a plate too full

it has been way too long since i have been able to sit down and just write. the main reason being i started summer classes. i was really excited to take a summer English course. i was all signed up only to learn, last minute, it was going to be canceled due to low enrollment. i chose a different course and had to figure out after school and summer childcare. then i learned the class, which i thought was 12 weeks long, is only 6 weeks long! not that big of a deal - it means a lot more work because it condenses 15 weeks of instruction into just 6, but it also means i still get a summer vacation. i figure it is a decent payoff. except for just one little thing.......and this is where i always begin to seriously doubt my logic.......i thought it would be a great idea to sign up for a 2nd summer class and chose to take my last required semester of spanish. so now i am cramming another class into an already ridiculous 6 week schedule.

so for the last week all i have done is school work. i have been able to cook dinner and help with kids homework but that is about it. i have new curtains that need to be hemmed still pinned hanging in my bedroom, piles of clutter that need to cleared, floors that need to be swept and vacuumed, a shelving unit that needs to be completed for my boys room, dogs that need to be walked, kids that need to be played with and a sweetie that needs some serious cuddle time, not to mention the pile of books waiting to be read 'just for fun' and this blog that needs some serious love as well.

i get a bit overwhelmed when i think about the next 5 weeks and the 9 short novels and the language i should be close to mastering by the end of it all, but i still believe the hard work will be worth it! it is only 6 weeks and then i will have a whole 5 weeks off until the fall semester starts. i figure i am getting the best of both, knocking off 2 more required courses and still getting the majority of the summer to do nothing but relax and play with my family (ok ok, i know the dishes and the cleaning and the clutter and the pups will still be there but let a girl live in the bliss of denial just for a bit...) until next time which hopefully won't be another week from today - take care of yourselves and get an extra hug from someone...it'll make you both feel better :O)

Tackle It Tuesday #2

This week was short but sweet! I tackled dining room shelves. I wasn't going to participate this week since I took my last 2 finals of the semester today but I really really really need to tackle quite a few projects (and lovely 'little' clutter piles) in the next week. That is all the time off I get before summer session starts. NO FAIR! On top of that, I am the worlds best procrastinator and excuse maker upper and I would desperately like to change those things. Therefore, I hit the shelves with a vengeance and I am very happy I did. Not a lot of work brought a big sense of calm to a the very chaotic world I am currently living in.

I turned this:

Into this:

I took the dictionaries/encyclopedias and extra folders to the empty shelves in the boys room that came into existence last week, put the cook books and recipe collection in the kitchen (makes much better sense for them to live there), removed the once blooming tulip bulbs now turned 'science experiment', and gave the shelves a good washing and voila.....a have a new clutter free area. In the process I found home for my lovely serving bowls -not bad for 15 minutes. Now for my next trick, I'll keep it that way!

Randomness (i think i just made up that word)

I've been tagged!!!! Didn't you hear me call times?!? :O)

Heather over at Desperately Seeking Sanity has tagged me w/ the 7 random things meme. The rules are easy: Each player writes seven random facts about themselves. People who are tagged write on their own blog about the seven things and the rules and then choose seven others to tag and list their names. Leave a comment for the ones you tag to let them know and send them to your own blog.

Now that the official stuff is out of the way - here is the fun stuff

#1 - My hair is naturally blond but for some strange reason a few years back I decided to that it wasn't blond enough and so I decided to go with the bleach blond look. Bad enough but I made it worse! Shortly after bleaching my hair I decided to go with a brown/red color. The only part of that dye job that stuck was the red and I ended up with bright red streaks in my bleach blond hair. Oh yeah - I looked cool!

#2- I am currently an English major studying to become a teacher but I secretly want to be a social worker but just not sure that I can handle the emotions.

#3 - I am the most disorganized perfectionist you will ever meet. My clutter lives in neat little piles all over the place!

#4 - I'm scared of the dark. Always have been and probably always will be - one reason I had an alarm system installed in my home

#5 - I am currently obsessed with books (that obsession will never go away), shoes (specifically flip flops and sandals), handbags (doesn't matter as long as it's cute!).......and sun dresses (refer back to handbags!)

#6 - When I was pregnant with my fist child, I really really really wanted a boy because I was terrified to have a daughter - I just knew I wouldn't be a good mother to a little girl. I fell in love with my daughter the minute I laid my eyes on her and fall in love with her for new reasons every day. I still have moments when I'm terrified that I'm not a good mother to her

#7 - While writing this post, I am enjoying a root beer float and watching soap operas because it is something that I rarely do, I finished my finals and therefore my first full year at USC today, I have an incredible sweet tooth, I just happened to have the supplies on hand, and gosh darn it - I deserve it and I can!

Now that I am it.... I tag

1) Megan over at Jumping Monkeys
2) An Ordinary Mom -
3) Lara, The Lazy Organizer -
4) Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer
5) Life as a Mama
6&7) others that i would have put here have already been tagged! is that cheating?

Have a fabulous day!

SMART Habits - week 2

Are you drinking enough water?

My answer is a resounding NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

I took the little quiz on the link above and learned that today - based on my weight, physical activity, local climate, etc. - I am to drink approximately 2.3 liters of water each day. How much water do I usually have you ask? Well let me see.........ok and then add that.........and add that.....carry over and the grand total is a big fat ZERO! Oh, but let me tell you how much Diet Coke I had yesterday

Let's see that's 5 12oz cans, plus 2 20oz bottles, plus a 32oz drink while I was helping my friend move and that adds up to...... 132! I am completely addicted to Diet Coke and I do not use that word lightly. I know its bad for me, I really do, and I know that I need to be drinking more water (a whole lot more) but there is a HUGE disconnect between knowing and doing in my world. However, recent health concerns (and a good talking to my best friend yesterday) have me thinking that I really need to take my health and what I put into my body more seriously and so I believe I have some good motivation.


Needless to say, my SMART Habit for this week is to drink water. I'm gonna jump right in and go with the ever popular 8 glasses of water a day. I bought myself a handy dandy 32oz travel water bottle. Its a cute pinky purple color so I will want to take it with me and I only have to fill and drink it twice to get my 64oz in! Sounds simple enough to me and yet, I am not so sure. What about my Diet Coke!?!

Well, I know that I cannot cut it out completely, I just don't have the will power. Therefore, I am going to allow myself to have it but within a few guidelines. I will not have a DC until after I have had 32oz of water. I figure, after having all that water, I won't really be thirsty and so maybe, just maybe, I won't want the DC so badly. I know I need to take caffine withdrawl into consideration but perhaps a nice cup of tea or even coffee to start my day will get me through? If not, I know that the suffering will only last a couple of days, I will get through it, and I will be much better for having made the change.

Last week my chosen habit was to plan my dinner menu for the week and have the shopping done by the end of day Sunday. I did great last week but ACK! just realized that my weekend is really booked!!! Now, I am not so sure I'll get the planning and the shopping done by Sunday night. Perhaps planning the menu should happen midweek......before the busy weekend.........yeah that might just be a good idea.

Thanks for reading! Wish me luck and get in on the fun!

we've made the switch!

Paper or not to paper? that was my question

I finally made the decision. After too many middle of the night washing sessions and too many days of extremely dry hands and too many weeks spent obsessing over this issue and who knows how many countless hours lost in front of the sink, I finally switched to paper plates and bowls! I was able to these paper plates made from recycled materials AND they are biodegradable AND they can be recycled again!!! YAY!!! Better yet, I found them at my friendly neighborhood grocery store! Now I am sitting here thinking "Why didn't I do this earlier?"

All of that takes away my guilt of using more trees just so I wouldn't have to wash the dishes. But wait there's more....while I was in line, I noticed that the store was selling reusable grocery bags and they only cost $1.oo each. Most reusable bags are like the regular plastic grocery bags (no support on the bottom) but these are more like the paper ones. They have sturdy plastic inserts that can be laid in the bottom for support and be taken out in case I wish to wash my lovely new bags. Oh and the handles are super convenient too - sturdy enough to stand up to the job and long enough to be thrown over a shoulder! How very thoughtful of them! Let's hear it for Albertsons!!!

Just because I am currently so in love with my new grocery bags, here is a pic so you can love them too!

Of course, I will now be saying goodbye to my lovely plates. They won't be gone forever and will still live in my cupboards and come out for special occasions, guests, or on a day when I need some cheering up - I love my dishes, they make me smile


see, aren't they fabulous?!? I will miss them but I will not miss the water bill or the dry hands or going to bed later because I have to finish up the dishes first or........I'll still have to wash the pots and the silverware but aaaahhhhhhh - i'm already relaxing. (and already have a growing list of things that can be done in my newly found free time!)

things to remember when i'm feeling blue

blue is my favorite color
i'm alive and so have the privilege of being down in the dumps
somebody somewhere has is worse off than i
my monkeys
and my sweetie
and everything about all of them
butterflies
the wildflowers i planted last month are beginning to bloom
hot chocolate - who cares if it's 75 degrees today?
this too shall pass......?.......not quite there yet
sunflowers
and gerbera daisies
the moment each of my children were born
the moment my love asked me to marry him
ladybugs
the first time i heard danielle say"ma" and she knew who she meant
the way enrique laughs and laughs when he gets a 'raspberry' on his tummy
the way luis always comes running to give me a hug when i pick him up from school
sunrises
and sunsets
the way it feels to laugh out of pure joy
breakfast - a really big breakfast w/ eggs french toast and bacon
chocolate - candy, cookie or frosting form it doesn't matter
the kids might be getting bigger but i'm still taller (for now)

happy birthday!!! (works for me)

The Birthday Edition

I love birthdays!! I do not know how to express that enough - it possibly border lines as an obsession when someone I love has a birthday. For me it is always about making sure the other person knows they are special. After all, if you didn't have a birthday, you wouldn't be here and that would be very sad!

We have a few simple traditions in our home that make birthdays special. When my daughter was born. I was given a Dr Seuss book, Happy Birthday to You! (don't get me started on how much I adore children's books, we could be here for hours) I read it to her the next day in the hospital and from then on, it has been read to all of my children each year on their birthday. A couple of years, I have even had it read to me for my birthday :O) In addition, we have a great little, family owned, Mexican restaurant in town and that is where we all go for our bday dinners. Finally, I write my children a letter each year for their birthday letting them know how much I love them and all the things that I appreciate about them. I chronicle some of the changes I have seen in them over the year and some of my favorite memories and moments that we have shared together as well. I was never sure that those letters mattered to them as much as they did to me until I found my sons 'stash' in his sock drawer and my daughter actually asked me for hers when it was a couple of days late this year.

Nothing flashy or extravagant, I know. For us, it is about the simple little things and spending time with each other. The traditions give us all something to look forward on the special day and (I hope) are helping us create some fabulous memories along the way.

Tackle it Tuesday #1

Here is my first attempt at a Tackle it Tuesday! I am still new to blogging(this is my first month) and while I originally envisioned having a space to share my thoughts and feelings I have begun to discover so much more!!! I now have a part time job researching and reading a ton of lovely posts from some really amazing people. :O)

I have a ton of unfinished and not yet started projects at my home and since I don't have any valid reasons for not getting to them like Janice does over at 5 miutes for mom - I figured I could get off my toosh - enlist the help of my monkeys and start crossing things off my every growing list.

This week I took on the abyss that is my boy's room! Now I am really not exaggerating and while they live in it and make the mess, I totally take ownership for not making them keep it up. Besides the fact that they seem completely uncapable of putting things away, part of the problem is that that they have too much stuff and another part is that they don't have any real storage.

Here is the result of those things - my before pictures - I cringe even now thinking of all who will see this!

This is just one side of the room and there is a WHOLE bunch more to be done; but, not in one day. So with the help of both my boys, we took down the old mirror, finally put together the second white bookshelf (to replace that old ugly brown one that doesn't allow their door to open all the way) and we got to some serious sorting and purging of the desk space. Here is the picture that I am proud to show!


And here are my sweet boys who promise promise to keep their space clean - I even heard a "Thanks Mom for making us clean our room"!!! Still in a bit of shock from that one. We all feel better with less clutter I think.


Tackle it Tuesday will be a BIG help to this household!

no makeup - no problem!

I'm really not sure when makeup became such an important part of my day or why I somehow began to think that I just wasn't pretty enough when not wearing any.... but I sure do know when all of that stopped!!! I met a man and fell in love and he fell in love with me!!!! Wanna know the best part? He loves me just the way I am no frills - no bells - no whistles and he adores, what he likes to call, my "morning face". Talk about your confidence booster!! It would be nice if the rest of the world could be so kind.

Now don't get me wrong, most days I do dab on a bit on concealer, eyeliner and mascara but on the days I don't, or on the days it is all off by the time my sweetie comes home, I still feel beautiful.

With that said, and in honor of my sweetie, and in honor of a newly found love of self, I submit my no make up picture (i even skipped my SPF because it's slightly tinted and helps even out skin tone) for the Bloggers Without Makeup contest over at Adventures in Babywearing. If you want to get in on the fun, click the link above and submit your own natural self before May 4!!!

We come in all shapes, sizes, and colors - Make up or not we all are and deserve to feel beautiful - this has been a great reminder of that!

I feel pretty oh so pretty......and you should too! :O)

Paper or not to paper? That is the question...

I need some of your thoughts and advice....

I live in a 5 person household and we do NOT have a dishwasher. Add to that the fact that we have a very small sink and that adds up to me doing the dishes at least three times a day. Now I have enlisted my 13 and 11 year old to help with the task - they each have the dishes 2 nights a week. However, the sink can only hold so much so I still end up doing what is left over later that night. One thing I can't stand is dirty dishes in the sink overnight - it drives me crazy!!!! I'll try sometimes to 'just let it go' but there are times when I wake up at 2am thinking about the dishes just sitting there and I have to get up to wash them.

I have recently considered using paper plates and this my friends is where i need your help! The thing is, I'm big on recycling and doing what I can to help out the environment and somehow using paper plates seems to go against that plan. I have not been able to find paper plates made from recycled materials - if I could that just might make my decision for me.

My dilemma is this: not having a dishwasher and using the sink means I am using much more water to get the dishes done than if I had a dishwasher but using paper plates means I am using up more trees.

I am thinking that at least using paper plates means that I am using a renewable resource (trees can be replanted) while water is a bit more precious than that - especially considering the fact that I live in Southern California and we are almost always in some sort of drought.

Any thoughts? I would greatly appreciate hearing what you think. I need to do something because I am currently obsessed with this thought.

new (good for me) habits

I have learned a great deal since entering the blog world. One of the best things I have learned is that I am not alone - there are many women, moms, sisters, friends, daughters, fiances (wives) out there that think about and face many of the same things I do on a daily basis. Another of my favorite new discoveries is that I have learned that there are some really amazingly fabulous women who have not only implemented really helpful strategies in their own lives but are willing to share and help the rest of us do the same. Thank you ladies, I am very grateful!

With that said, I came across this little beauty that I just can't wait to get started on. It's SMART Habits Saturday! Sounds great and certainly like something that will be very very good for me. I have tried to start new healthy, good for me habits but never seem to make them a reality. I think my problem (besides being lazy) is that I've never had accountability.....I am hoping that sharing my habit goals with the rest of you will help me stay on target. My only problem at the moment is deciding which habit to start this week...........hmmmmmm

Thinking back to last week, I think I will choose what I struggled with the most. Since returning to school, I have realized that getting my life organized is a must. I have made some progress but one area that I just cannot seem to get together is weekly dinners. I find myself making multiple trips to the store to get ingredients needed and , sadly I am not exaggerating when I say, I went to the market every single day last week because I had not decided what to cook each night until I picked up my boys from school - or worse until about an hour before dinner should be on the table! We were all cranky with the extra trips out of the house in the middle of our busy after school routines. It was miserable! and diner time certainly was not as pleasant as it should be for me or my monkeys.

With that said, my new SMART Habit that I will begin this week is planning my weekly dinners ahead of time. My goal is to have a weekly menu in place by Sunday afternoon which will give me the opportunity to figure out exactly what I will need for the week and give me time to go to the market to get everything in only one trip. I already feel more relaxed just thinking about it.

Wish me luck! (and lots and lots of motivation and follow thru)

A Fun (and easy) Contest

I was reading around in the blog world and came across a contest sponsored by Madison's Room You can enter for your chance to win these adorable hair clips for your little princess! Just visit this post and follow instructions. Basically all you have to do is sign Mr. Linky, leave a comment, add a link and your done! So easy and so worth it if you win! these little clips are just so cute!

a hundred years from now

"A hundred years from now, no one will remember the size of my bank account, the kind of car I drove or what type of house I lived in. What will matter is that I was important in the life of a child." (anonymous)

This is a quote on hold on to and sadly one that I have not thought of in a while. I was reminded when reading a post by another mom sharing her daughter's 100th day of school activity. My own mother shared this quote with me a few years back and it helped me gain a new perspective in life. In a world that is so concerned with and wrapped around image and material items, it is imperative to remember that, in the end, there really are more important things in life.

There are moments when that thought really hits home for me. Like, for example, when my sons run across the playground to give me a hug when I pick them up for school or when my daughter and I giggle as we make cookies (and a mess) together. However, I never remember it more than the times I sneak at peak at my sleeping children and see how peaceful they are; without any cares in the world. It is in that moment that I say a prayer of thanks for their health and their safety, a prayer of thanks for the privilege of the opportunity to be a mother, and a prayer for all the help i need to continue to keep them safe, well, loved and happy.

I hope that in the end of my days here on earth that I have been important in the lives of my children. I hope they will remember that even though I couldn't afford or chose not to give them the latest gizmo or the name brand items and that even though we may not have always agreed with one another, that what I did do for them was accept them for who they are, love them for all their quirks and helped them understand that sometimes it is the simple things in life that matter most.