Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
well here i am at my 50th post and it seems like i crawled my way to this point. i know lots of people post "100 things about me" for the hundredth but i have not seen anything for a fiftieth....so i thought that i would write a bit about why i am blogging in the first place.....it'll be good for me since on most days i am not quite sure myself!!
i have always kept a journal. it has always been a good way to acknowledge and sort out my feelings. i have a very special talent for banishing my emotions to oblivion only to find that they come back and ambush me at full force whenever i don't expect it. not the best way to go through life especially when your own children are the casualties. ask them, they will tell you point blank how i used to yell at them all the time. i am in no way proud of that behavior but proud that i have found a way to apologize for it and make a change. i still get frustrated with them but i no longer dump on them because of bottled up emotions that have nothing to do with them.
so if i have a journal than why this? well, before i started a blog i lurked around cyber space reading what other sisters, moms, daughters, friends, and women had to say and what i found was a source of comfort and support. i call it my cheap therapy. it helps to know you aren't alone. i thought if i was lurking around taking such wonderfulness from others, perhaps i should try to give back. i, in no way, feel like i have talent such that i have seen from others nor do i try to fit into one genre or another. good or bad, perhaps there is another someone out there who might benefit from daily-ness of being me.
as i started posting, i realized that writing in this form was such a good reminder to pay attention to the things that i usually forget to remember. in a way, i get to be my own therapist when i take a peak at what i have written. i still keep a journal. there are some things in my life that i still deem to personal for public knowledge but the rest of it is here.
my biggest challenge has not been to censor myself beyond the "do i really want any joe smoe to know this?" my sweetie and a few others in my life stop by here now and then. every so often i catch myself wondering what they might think about what i have to say and it makes me a bit shy. that's when i realize that blogging also helps remind me to share more of myself with those i love. maybe this blog is a little window into my world and that just might help build better relationships with those i love.
hopefully that will continue as i formally announce and share my blog with some who, i think, have no idea that i have been doing this. i am in the process of importing this blog into my website. it was a gift from my love and i think it is so cool. it is still in it's infancy and so am i in terms of learning how to manage it, but if you want to check it out, please do.
thanks for stopping by
Sunday, September 16, 2007
It has been too long since I have posted a menu plan. I have been planning but just lacking the time to sit and create a post. This week, my budget is very very slim and so we are back to the good old basics in this house which allow me to get more bang for my buck.
Monday: Beans and Eggs w/ tortillas and salsa
Tuesday: Mac n Cheese with hot dogs
Wednesday: Shake n Bake Pork Chops w/ scalloped potatoes
Thursday: Refrigerator Medley (our name for left over night)
Friday: my night off
Menu planning still helps to save me time and money. For more information on Menu Plan Monday or if you want to play along, visit Laura the Organizing Junkie and join in on the fun!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
oh the power of holding hands! i have to admit that i love to hold hands but do not often think about why.....until last night.
last night i was feeling sad, scared, worried, stupid......all out of sorts. that is until my sweetie came over, sat next to me and held my hand. in that moment, the fortress i had built around myself began to crumble brick by brick. i should mention that i am a very talented brick layer and when it comes to building walls around myself to protect my feelings, i am very skilled indeed. but all it took was just that simple gesture to start bringing me out from behind my wall.
thinking about it now, i love holding hands because it is a connection to another that is simple and yet intimate all at once. it is comforting to know that someone is there to laugh with you, dance with you, walk with you, cry with you, or just sit with you. the point is, when someone hold my hand, i am not alone - there is someone there reaching out for me.
my sweetie and i hold hands all of the time - sitting, watching tv, walking down the street, in the grocery store, while out to dinner, and even at night as we fall asleep. i am so fortunate to have a man in my life who is so loving, patient and understanding and i am so fortunate to have a man in my life that will hold my hand at all times even when things aren't all that rosy. he is my someone and i love him dearly.
Monday, September 10, 2007
your 7 yr old has to take 4 items to school to represent who he is, one of the items he chooses is a picture of just the 2 of you, and he says "this represents me 'cuz you're my mom, you're the best, you're important to me..... and i love you!"
if only i could bottle the way that made me feel....